Interpretations

Who Am I?

2016 was pivotal in a lengthy battle with identity and the aftermath of diagnoses…

I reached a critical apex that was leading to self-destruction. Deliberately, I harnessed self-examination with introspective and contemplative study. My thoughts are shared here. Some I still agree with, some I venture to challenge; but this is who I was a year ago. The most important insight, though, is unstated – that patience is a virtue we may perish without. 2017 is irrefutably better. I’m a grateful witness of rewarding and worthwhile self-transformation.
 
 
It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t seen as bad (mental illness).
 
I never knew how normal I was until I was called abnormal.
 
Perception impacts experience.
 
Absolute truth is but a fraction of total reality – it does not constitute it.
 
Sometimes the only way to keep your dignity intact is to stand down.
 
Sometimes it’s an effort to exist.
 
Self-validation becomes antithetical the moment you admit its utility.
 
Sometimes it is futile to fight, tiring to try, pointless to postulate, and worthless to win.
 
Non-traditional dreams require non-traditional actualization.
 
Hope propels vision, but does not pledge its architecture nor promise its accomplishment.
 
To me, emotions are colors, temperatures, and the rawest forms of energy.
 
The experience of being human should feel like a blessing, not a curse.
 
Your disease, or illness, or disability, or addiction does not define who you are – how you handle it does.
 
Travel is inherent to self-discovery.
 
What happens when there’s no more soul left to torture?
 
Unbeknownst to me, my credibility as a human being vanished the moment I was diagnosed mentally ill.
 
I was a thinker from the very start; but that very asset of my identity became a character liability by the label and stigma of mental illness.
 
Strength is a mask I can’t afford to put on anymore.
 
I feel as though I’ve awoken from a drug-induced, zombie-like dream and into a conscious and nightmarish reality.
 
I’m not an artist because I’m mentally ill – I’m an artist because I think.
 
Contrary to what some people think, mental illness and intelligence can go together.
 
When searching for the forest through the trees, remember: there’s always more than one forest.
 
Dissonance is necessary for lifelong learning; without it, our capacity for growth is stunted and our sense of purpose ceases.
 
How do I rid myself of this immense feeling of insignificance?
 
The darkness has consumed me countless times; yet somehow, I still shine.
 
 
Copyright © 2016 KIMBERLY J. BRAGADO. All rights reserved.
 
 
By Kim Bragado for The Authentic Thinker